Bypass Beauty Dating Series
A basket of freshly baked rolls sit steaming on the table with a crock of butter and two menus–one for you and one for him. He wanted sushi and you coerced him into Italian. Your plan backfired and now you’re staring at the menu dumbfounded. What the heck is carpaccio and exactly how much garlic comes in the clam dish? And then there’s the bread. One roll you’ll be full and a glass of wine–tipsy.
Suddenly a slew of questions float to the surface like flecks of dust shaken from a rug. Should you tell your date about your surgery? Will they judge you if you grab a to-go box? And, what the hell do you say if they offer to split a dessert?
Before weight loss surgery I worried about dating like any millenial, but my fears have evolved now that I’ve lost weight. I worry about my portions and how best to avoid gassy vegetables. I worry about getting drunk too quick or feeling nauseous after eating too much.
Along the way I’ve gathered a few tips and tricks about dining out and lucky for you–I’m passing them along. How are you going to get through your dinner date? For starters, tackle it with confidence and make your restaurant date fun and less cuisine centered.
Know the menu
I love food, but I am not and have never been a foodie. Prior to surgery I was the easiest date. As long as it wasn’t sushi I was satisfied with pretty much anything. Now? I read the menu with a fine comb, insist on plain diner food, and avoid anything I can’t pronounce (including carpaccio). It’s not that I’m not adventurous, but gastric bypass surgery made me extremely aware of what I put into my stomach. Too much garlic, over spiced food, large portions, they’re all red flags.
When you squint at the menu for twenty minutes you look crazy. I know I do. The key is to familiarize yourself with the menu before your date. Think of it as…preparation. While not all online menus list ingredients, you can often see what food is likely to be served. Use this information to plan ahead. I suggest picking TWO dishes you know you can order (in case they run out of one).
Order small
After surgery your stomach is smaller than before and normal portions are overwhelmingly large. When you’re out with someone who doesn’t know about your surgery, food anxiety worsens. The one thing you shouldn’t do is force yourself to eat more than you can handle. A good rule of thumb is to eat slow, chew well, and pace yourself. And never eat more than half of your meal. Who cares if you have to get a to-go box.
If it really matters to you. Think about ordering an appetizer as your main meal or order a side dish. Some restaurants have a small plate selection, which is often a small portion of their regular dishes. Order small and you won’t worry about having to pack your food to go. Most importantly, you won’t have to ask for a doggie bag on your first date.
Avoid the bread
Red Lobster and Olive Garden have the best rolls around and they’re free with your meal. Soft and buttery– their rolls are to die for. And the copious amounts of salt surely help the appeal. The bread is a temptation that can be hard to concur and it’s a Good Morning America recipe for a reason. EVERYONE IN AMERICA LOVES THEM–except the bariatric community. Bread is the ultimate filler and with only a few bites it fills you up and your dinner becomes a table decoration while your partner eats alone.
If you’re on a date, the thought of not eating your meal is embarrassing. I’m sure your date is thinking: “wow, she/he is hardly eating! She/he must hate me, hate the meal, and certainly this is the worse date ever.” Yeah, that’s what they’re thinking. They also believe Trump will be president and unicorns exist. In all honestly your date won’t care if you eat the bread or not and they certainly won’t mind if you have to take your meal to-go. You shouldn’t either. But, for your sake be conscious about how your stomach reacts to bread and other carbs. You can either eat one roll and think you’ll be judged for it OR you can stay away from the bread all together. I suggest enjoying the meal, not the bread. Plus, it’s the butter that makes it taste good anyway!
Stay away from liquids
Remember those 64 ounces of liquid you’re suppose to drink daily? Don’t do it while you’re dining out! Not only does this fill your stomach, but it adds extra calories if you’re not careful. When dining out, take it easy. Your date won’t realize if you’re nursing a drink. If they do, who cares. Know what your body can handle.
I am an avid coffee drinker and have the horrible habit of drinking up to 2-3 cups of coffee when dining out. Ever since I’ve kicked soda (as all of you should have), coffee has become my go to. Low calorie and fizz free this magical black liquid is my kryptonite. While it’s a healthier alternative than our not so friendly fizzy friend, drinking it before or during a meal fills me up. If you’re anxious about drinking too much or too fast, sip your drink slowly and distract yourself in the conversation. I’ve often order lemonade– a sour, puckerful drink that forces me to drink slowly.
If your date involves alcohol, keep in mind how strong it can hit you. After weight loss surgery your alcohol tolerance is lower than before. If you want to have an alcoholic beverage, sip it slowly and make sure to pay attention to your body. Feeling dizzy? Dehydrated? Pace yourself. If you are eating too little while drinking alcohol the effects will hit you like a brick wall. Know yourself and know your limits. If you can’t drink, then don’t! Your date will understand– whether you’re a gastric bypass patient or not.
Feature image of wine glasses via Pixabay
Bypass Beauty 
Very interesting post on a topic I didn’t know much about before! 😊🌻
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